How To Be Happy Alone – Surobi Scribbles

I feel sad that my generation cannot stay still and simply be alone. They cannot simply be alone without any distractions, people and entertainment. Two years ago, I used to be that person who would constantly need someone to go out with me and I didn’t like spending time alone. I used to tell myself that I can’t stay alone because I am an extrovert.

But now, I no longer shy away from being alone. I love taking myself out to new places in London, I have my own me-time to recharge daily and I am whole on the inside and outside.

So how did I become happy alone? Here are my secrets.

But first, what does it mean to be happy alone?

Being happy alone does not mean that you have no family and friends. Being happy alone does not mean that you isolate yourself all the time. Having no people in your life and isolating yourself, especially when you are not feeling your best is actually unhealthy. What being happy alone means is that you have a choice. You are your own individual person and you can choose to be alone and spend time alone, but you can also then choose to talk to others.

You don’t talk to others out of urgency or desperation or thinking that others will perceive you as ‘lonely’, you talk to others because you want to talk to them.

So, how can you be happy alone?

Love and accept your emotions

The first step is always self-awareness. You have to be aware of your thoughts and what emotions these thoughts create. When you are alone, listen to what you are telling yourself. If you tell yourself ‘I am so lonely. I have no friends. How comes every other person has friends except me?’, this will create feelings of sadness and an urge to be with others. You may even make yourself get into the wrong crowd purely to get away from these thoughts.

In reality, you should not compare yourself to others. Don’t try to run away or fix your emotions because you cannot fix your emotions. What you can do is love and accept these emotions, but don’t follow them.

Know the advantages of being alone

I know that school can be the place that made you feel like if you sat by yourself at lunchtime, you are a loser and a loner. But that is absolutely not true. You are only lonely if you don’t have the choice to be alone. But right now, you can choose the second thought and remind yourself that you choose to be alone.

There are so many advantages to being alone. For example, the people that have friends that you are comparing yourself to may not have the best friendships. Some people get into the wrong crowd purely to feel accepted. Luckily, you are living your best life alone without any gossip and drama which is far better than having toxic friendships.

Being alone means that:

You can do whatever you want that makes you happy long term without needing to compromise or sacrifice for others
You can prioritise yourself
You get to be comfortable with sitting with your own thoughts and emotions and knowing yourself, it makes you more confident
You can make good memories with yourself and know that you can make yourself happy without needing it from someone else
You can be your own best friend

Have loving and supportive relationships

As I mentioned earlier, being happy alone is having the freedom and choice of who to speak to. You should have the choice to speak to people that support you and love you unconditionally. It is absolutely okay and recommended to reach out to others once in a while when you are alone and this can help strengthen your relationships. It can also make you feel grateful for the people you have in your life when you give them space. So yes, find a small group of people who you trust and love who love you back.

Don’t be afraid to be the first person to show care and reach out to old friends but only within your boundaries and values.

Find hobbies and things to do in your schedule

I want you to wake up every day feeling excited about life. You should have things in your schedule, whether it is two things or ten things that make you happy long term. Not only will this make you focus on yourself, but it also means that others who align with your high energy will be attracted to you.

Some examples include journaling, meditation, travelling, cooking or even making art.

Remember Allah

Even when you are alone, remind yourself that there is Allah watching you. Allah is always there from when you are outside in the busy markets during the day to the darkest of the nights. This is the time for you to up your private acts of worship (Ibadah) with sincere intentions by praying, doing some Dhikr (remembrance) or even praying to Allah to guide you to a better company. Allah is always there so never feel lonely 👍

Many people seek spirituality and religion when they reach the darkest points of their lives in adulthood when they have no one to talk to. Why not start talking to the Creator now and build a healthy relationship with Him?

Those were the five tips that I had in order to really start being happy alone. Remember that this is a process that takes time and consistency and makes perfect.

I challenge you to assign some time this week to do something fun by yourself, whether it is going to your favourite coffee shop and smelling the coffee or whether it is meditating at home. You don’t want to do something short term that you will regret, do something that will make you happy long term.

The bottom line:

Being happy alone is a choice and use that time to invest in yourself long-term.

That is all! I hope you have enjoyed reading this article and I hope you benefitted from it! Please share this article with others, because what you share with the world comes back around to you!

Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

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