Well, I am here to spill the tea on how to become that girl because I truly believe it is quite simple and if you really have the intention to be that girl and still end this summer on a great note, you can become that girl!

Note: the tips in this article can also be used for boys!

The Benefits of Being ‘That Girl’

The benefits of being ‘that girl’ is:

1. You live a more fulfilling life as you are embodying that high-value version of yourself that always makes you happy long term
2. You become more confident in yourself as you realise your potential and how you can do many things in one day.
3. You are considered to be more attractive as people wonder how you do it all.

The Ultimate Key To Become ‘That Girl’

The key is to have some habits and non-negotiable in your life but also allow some flexibility in your schedule.

Having Habits And Systems

Here is how it works: start with having a habit tracker, where you will write some non-negotiable habits in your life that you will do without fail. This ensures that you are prioritising yourself and you are not feeling too overwhelmed with your life with too much flow. This provides structure to your life. Examples of these habits include meditation, journaling or waking up early.

Having Flexibility

However, you also need to allow things to fit into your schedule which can change depending on the circumstances. The key is to follow your gut and make the right decision. If you have two hours free one evening, what would you do? Would you be like your lazy self just scrolling through social media? Or would you be like your high-value self and go out to a coffee shop and learn to be comfortable solo travelling?

Fill your schedule with more activities. This can include hobbies (I will be making an article about hobbies very soon), events and programmes (to meet new people and expand your knowledge) and even self-development/self-care (such as reading a book alone in a coffee shop). Always embody your high-value version of yourself.

Get Back Up

Some days, you will feel exhausted or feel negative emotions. You don’t need to be exhausted to be ‘that girl’, you can just keep following your gut. Love and accept your emotions but do not follow the negative emotions and do not do the actions that will not make you happy long term.

To be ‘that girl’, it takes consistency. Don’t sabotage yourself for things that you know are not true. If you fail to do a habit or you do end up being lazy, just forgive yourself. Learn from that mistake, get up and move on. Try your best not to make mistakes.

You Can Do It

Start today to be ‘that girl’ if you haven’t started already.

Share this article with anyone who is keen on improving themselves!

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Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

P.S. If you like my content, don’t hesitate to check out my blog with 200+ free articles, my TikTok account and my podcast with lots of insightful information. It can all be found here: https://linktr.ee/surobiscribbles

But now, I no longer shy away from being alone. I love taking myself out to new places in London, I have my own me-time to recharge daily and I am whole on the inside and outside. 

So how did I become happy alone? Here are my secrets.

But first, what does it mean to be happy alone?

Being happy alone does not mean that you have no family and friends. Being happy alone does not mean that you isolate yourself all the time. Having no people in your life and isolating yourself, especially when you are not feeling your best is actually unhealthy. What being happy alone means is that you have a choice. You are your own individual person and you can choose to be alone and spend time alone, but you can also then choose to talk to others. 

You don’t talk to others out of urgency or desperation or thinking that others will perceive you as ‘lonely’, you talk to others because you want to talk to them.

So, how can you be happy alone?

1. Love and accept your emotions 

The first step is always self-awareness. You have to be aware of your thoughts and what emotions these thoughts create. When you are alone, listen to what you are telling yourself. If you tell yourself ‘I am so lonely. I have no friends. How comes every other person has friends except me?’, this will create feelings of sadness and an urge to be with others. You may even make yourself get into the wrong crowd purely to get away from these thoughts. 

In reality, you should not compare yourself to others. Don’t try to run away or fix your emotions because you cannot fix your emotions. What you can do is love and accept these emotions, but don’t follow them.

2. Know the advantages of being alone

I know that school can be the place that made you feel like if you sat by yourself at lunchtime, you are a loser and a loner. But that is absolutely not true. You are only lonely if you don’t have the choice to be alone. But right now, you can choose the second thought and remind yourself that you choose to be alone. 

There are so many advantages to being alone. For example, the people that have friends that you are comparing yourself to may not have the best friendships. Some people get into the wrong crowd purely to feel accepted. Luckily, you are living your best life alone without any gossip and drama which is far better than having toxic friendships.

Being alone means that:

• You can do whatever you want that makes you happy long term without needing to compromise or sacrifice for others 
• You can prioritise yourself
• You get to be comfortable with sitting with your own thoughts and emotions and knowing yourself, it makes you more confident
• You can make good memories with yourself and know that you can make yourself happy without needing it from someone else
• You can be your own best friend

3. Have loving and supportive relationships

As I mentioned earlier, being happy alone is having the freedom and choice of who to speak to. You should have the choice to speak to people that support you and love you unconditionally. It is absolutely okay and recommended to reach out to others once in a while when you are alone and this can help strengthen your relationships. It can also make you feel grateful for the people you have in your life when you give them space. So yes, find a small group of people who you trust and love who love you back.

Don’t be afraid to be the first person to show care and reach out to old friends but only within your boundaries and values.

4. Find hobbies and things to do in your schedule

I want you to wake up every day feeling excited about life. You should have things in your schedule, whether it is two things or ten things that make you happy long term. Not only will this make you focus on yourself, but it also means that others who align with your high energy will be attracted to you. 

Some examples include journaling, meditation, travelling, cooking or even making art.

5. Remember Allah

Even when you are alone, remind yourself that there is Allah watching you. Allah is always there from when you are outside in the busy markets during the day to the darkest of the nights. This is the time for you to up your private acts of worship (Ibadah) with sincere intentions by praying, doing some Dhikr (remembrance) or even praying to Allah to guide you to a better company. Allah is always there so never feel lonely

Many people seek spirituality and religion when they reach the darkest points of their lives in adulthood when they have no one to talk to. Why not start talking to the Creator now and build a healthy relationship with Him?

Those were the five tips that I had in order to really start being happy alone. Remember that this is a process that takes time and consistency and makes perfect.

I challenge you to assign some time this week to do something fun by yourself,  whether it is going to your favourite coffee shop and smelling the coffee or whether it is meditating at home. You don’t want to do something short term that you will regret, do something that will make you happy long term.

The bottom line:

Being happy alone is a choice and use that time to invest in yourself long-term.

That is all! I hope you have enjoyed reading this article and I hope you benefitted from it! Please share this article with others, because what you share with the world comes back around to you!

Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

P.S I would really appreciate it if you followed on me on my Medium blog and also on my TikTok account.

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

I feel you. I feel you when your heart is hurting. I feel you when you don’t know where you are going in life. I feel you when you have those bad days where you just want to sleep or rest or at least not have to think about school or having to battle your internal battles. But I also feel that I have found the solution – the ultimate key to happiness. And that is gratitude.

Before you stop reading because you think that this is another cliche article about gratitude or thinking ‘I’m already grateful’ or ‘writing in a gratitude journal didn’t work for me before’, hear me out. I used to be in the same position, thinking that I was  already grateful and I did not need to further incorporate into my life. Little did I know that gratitude is a feeling and a practice rather than a being. It is okay to not feel grateful all the time and have those days where you want to complain and feel like ripping your hair out because of how hard it is getting. 

The way that gratitude changed my life was miraculous. I started by having the conventional gratitude journal where I wrote 5 things I was grateful for every day. Even though it was a nice reflection for me daily, it didn’t connect me to the feeling of gratitude and happiness which is what a lot of people lack when writing gratitude journaling. What I was missing was the passion and I started to find ways to channel that gratitude somewhere. 

I started being more grateful to Allah. In that way, I built my connection with Allah as well as realising that it is His mercy that has given me all these beautiful blessings in my life. Consistently doing this practice every day made me more curious about my Lord. Who has all the power that can make me happy one day and make me lose everything the next day? Who has the power to give me my 5 senses and lead a healthy lifestyle? Who has this power to ensure everything always works out for me in the end? It is Allah, my Lord.

The amount of blessings Allah has given you is unimaginable. As beautifully said in this Quranic quote:

‘And He gave you from all you asked of Him. And if you should count the favor [i.e., blessings] of Allāh, you could not enumerate them. Indeed, mankind is [generally] most unjust and ungrateful.’ (Surah Ibrahim 14:34)

Now even though I don’t journal every day, one of the best ways to practise gratitude is Salah. I cannot emphasise how much Salah has improved my life and one of the best things about it is that gratitude is implemented into Salah. When you make dua for your Salah, you can thank Allah for  all the gifts of this world and you will start to feel your heart pumping out the warmth and excitement through your blood vessels to the rest of your body. This is the power of gratitude. 

So even in the days when you wake up and you don’t feel good inside, when you remember this gratitude, you are again grounded and realise that you have everything you need at this moment. Because surely,

Allah does not require of any soul more than what it can afford. (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:286)

Now is gratitude the key to everything in life? Perhaps not. You may still have problems, you will still have hardships and you will still have those trials. But remember that all the opportunities and good you have right now are overpowering and outweighing the negatives. So remain grateful and program your brain to return back to the positives even when you feel like giving up and even when you have failed. And then fix your problems. 

With that being said, gratitude does not mean that you are opening the doors for abuse and disrespect. It does not mean that you need to stay in a toxic friendship just because you should be ‘grateful’ for even having friends. Remember your boundaries always and stick to them so you can tell Allah what it is you want and how you want to be in this world.

So yes, I do not regret investing in a gratitude journal and I love being grateful every day. I feel so grateful that you have read my article till the end. Thank you for being in my life.

Share this article to anyone you are grateful for and together, let our hearts pump all the warmth and gratitude out into this world. Teach others to have the balance of blessings and boundaries. You and I are both enough.

With love,

Surobi 

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Disclaimer: As always, pick what advice best fits and suits you. You choose what to believe in. I also picked the advice that I wanted to believe in!

What this book is about:

This book ‘The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People’ distils 100 perspectives from 100 people on their top advice to be happy. I found this intriguing and as expected, many of the advice given were the most basic cliche advice such as ‘smile’ or ‘exercise’ which are important but I only read the advice I thought was unique and profound. 

What it has taught me:

Limit yourself to thinking about one subject as you lie down to sleep

This was a very interesting piece of advice which I think the majority of people do not follow. Better sleepers are 25% more satisfied with life than poor sleepers. Therefore, in order to get that sleep, we should get to sleep as quickly as possible. This can be done by only thinking about one thing e.g. just your family and nothing else. 

Don’t let your entire life hinge on one element.

I really like how this statement was phrased. And it is absolutely true. Diversify your hopes by building your hopes around many things that are important to you. You should be able to enjoy the different aspects of your life, without becoming too dependent on one thing. In a nutshell, don’t let only one thing define you. 

Learn to use a computer. 

This is more for the senior citizens out there but learning to use a computer not only provides a great experience of technology but also it has been proven to increase the self esteem and satisfaction by five percent for senior citizens.

Never trade your morals for your goals

I am a strong believer of this lesson and have been following this for so long! It is very easy when times get difficult for your goals to just do immoral things but that is not going to help you. An example given in the book is of a student who got into Yale but by faking his whole application – from his activities to his letters of recommendation. Even though he was doing well at university, he had to confess his mistakes because he felt that his achievements would be predicated on lies. So live guilt-free by never cheating and always following your morals!

How we see the world is more important than how the world is

Such a great tip that so many people need to know in this day and age! Everything in this life is a matter of perspective and as I said at the start of the article: you choose what to believe in. 

What I like about this book:

I love how so many different perspectives of happiness and how to attain happiness were given in the book. It made me feel very impressed with how regardless of your background or culture, everyone usually follows the simplest advice to be happy such as believing in yourself. 

The possible improvements to the book:

Each lesson had a very short explanation on it which is good for readers who don’t like reading very much but for an avid reader like me, I would have wanted a bit more explanation on each lesson and perhaps a link between each chapter.

My Rating: 3/5

This book was really good at showing different perspectives yet, it was more of a skim read rather than a full book to read, when I prefer reading books back-to-back. 

Where to buy the book from (not sponsored):

The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People

I hope you have enjoyed reading this article. This link is not sponsored. Comment down below if you have read the book too. If you enjoyed this article, please check out my other articles too:

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day! 

Perhaps this anger arises within you. Why can’t your parents be there for you? Why is your best friend always busy when you call them? Why can’t your siblings just help you once in a while? All these questions pop up in your head, and you can’t stop yourself. You tell yourself that you are lonely and you desperately need some friends to replace the gap you feel inside you.

But what if you just felt lonely? What if you just let yourself embrace loneliness? Unfortunately, many try to run away from the loneliness, and try to indulge in movies or memes. Perhaps some try to get into a relationship or make as many plans with their friends as possible to escape this feeling.

The reality you need to understand is that you need to enjoy your own company. The truth is that everyone feels lonely at some point in their life. Alhamdulillah, as a person who has always had amazing family members and a few friends with me constantly in my life with me, I have also felt lonely at times. Maybe it is during the weekends when you have no plans. Or maybe it is during exam season when you are locked into your room alone for hours to study. But you need to start enjoying your own company. 

Let yourself feel lonely and then go and do things that will make you feel happy long term. Always wanted to start a blog? Have that new recipe to try? Just start today and eventually you will discover more about yourself and love yourself more. Because the reality is that you are the only one who can understand yourself the most.

Of course, you should have people in your life who love you and love them back. However, you should only be hanging out with them to be with each other, not due to urgency so you don’t have to stay alone. Try to understand yourself first and then, if needed, then of course seek help and make plans with others.

I have started solo travelling, writing my blog and also practicing gratitude just to name a few of the things I do alone as a teenager. It makes me feel so happy and refreshed. Do what makes you happy long term. Let yourself feel lonely and make a piece of art with that loneliness.

With love,

Surobi

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

So, based on my experiences, here are five common life lessons that I don’t wholeheartedly follow. Do you agree with me? Comment down below.

Time heals.

This life advice is a very common one for anyone going through a tough time and it is a statement that reassures the individual that with time, everything will get better. They should remain patient. While I agree that you should be patient and that Allah has something better planned as mentioned in the Quran, you also need to do certain actions to help yourself. Of course, not every problem can be fixed straightaway but take your time to go and look for potential solutions by reading books, gaining support from others or even reading a blog like this one. A gem might be waiting for you which will hold the key to fix your hardships.

Say yes to everything.

I disagree with this life advice quite a lot. Saying yes to everything can not only make you burnt out and constantly people pleasing, but it also means you do not know your priorities long-term. It is really important to learn how to say no at times too. Always saying yes is dangerous as you want to be happy long term so do things that will make you happy long term and that is the key to making the right decisions. 

YOLO

YOLO, or also known as You Only Live Once, could not be further from the truth. Again, it is important to enjoy your life and be happy, but it does not come at the risk to harming others and also completely forgetting about the Hereafter. As a Muslim, I am aware that my actions are being recorded and that I will be accountable for them. Therefore, I do need to control any temptations I have and do the best thing that is right for me throughout my life. 

Pretend that this is your last day on Earth.

This is a very deep one. Of course, anyone can die at any time and there is no way you can predict that. But, again, I believe that if people acted every day that today was their last day, it would be completely unrealistic. You might not do your homework as you would want to instead spend time with your loved ones. But of course, homework is still important and as I always say you do have to think long term and work towards your goals. So therefore, pretending today is your last day could destress you for a short period of time if you are too caught up in this world, but it will not help in the long run.

Money doesn’t buy you happiness.

Now I am going to be honest. I have always been a person who doesn’t have my top goal as becoming a millionaire or having the biggest mansion (of course, I wouldn’t mind it though). But even I have to confess that to some degree, money does buy you happiness. Money does give you that food in your stomach that gives you the energy to work and have a laugh with your loved ones. Money does provide you with fresh clean clothes that make you smell good. Money does give you a roof over your house so you can feel safe and protected. With that being said, there is also a threshold for how much money one feels satisfied and that is around £33,864 in the UK. So yes, do work hard, earn your money because you will thank yourself for it but also don’t forget to enjoy the journey and destress along the way. Think long term.

So that was my article on the five common life lessons dissected on to why I am not 100% convinced by them. Of course, there is a grain of truth in everything but it is up to you to make your choices and decisions. You ultimately choose what to believe in.

Comment down below your biggest life advices that helped you.

Thank you for reading and have a lovely day! 

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Every breath you take, you may be feeling very nervous. Every breath you take, you may feel like throwing up. Every breath you take, you may feel like there is so much riding on this. There is so much riding on this piece of paper. A few letters on a piece of paper could change your life forever. But that is where you are wrong.

You know how much effort you put in. You know all the mornings you woke up to be in your books, the nights you spent studying, and the afternoons you sacrificed even if it meant you could increase your grade by 1%. Or perhaps, you may feel like you didn’t put in enough effort. Maybe you should have started revising earlier. You are falling into this pit of regret and disappointment. You just can’t bear to fail. You just can’t bear to see the wrong grades, and not get into your dream institution. You have sacrificed too much for this. This can’t all go in vain.

All these thoughts are valid. I give you full permission to hear that nasty voice inside you. You know it is the nasty voice because it is a constant loop that is not helping you. Let me get you out of that loop, with these three things I want you to remember:

1. You are not your grades. You and your worth are not defined by your grades, nor by which sixth form or university accepts or rejects you. You have so many other things in your life that make up your identity. You are worthy all the time regardless of the situation. Diversify and remind yourself of who you are apart from just these grades.
2. Of course, you have sacrificed a lot for these grades. Or perhaps you wish you could go back and reduce the partying and increase the studying. But the truth is, it is okay to feel desperate but you cannot change anything now. You put your pen down months ago after those exams. But this was a journey of self growth so regardless of where you go, you did it for yourself and it built up your character.
3. Trust in Allah. Allah is the One who has got you this far and He has fixed so many things previously for you. Count your blessings and remind yourself that He has got your back and He knows what is right for you.

Yes, keep reading the above. This is not me trying to sympathise with you or let you stop from feeling your emotions. The truth is that you will face a variety of emotions leading up to Results Day. And these emotions right now don’t define the outcome of the grades you will see in that paper. So don’t force any emotions, let yourself feel, love and accept these emotions and then let it go.

Many students have gone through this, including myself last year for GCSE Results Day, and if people in the past could do it, so can you.

Good luck with your results day! Keep smiling!

With love, 

Surobi

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Take a look around you. You will find yourself in a safe place. You might be in your room, in a public place, or even in school. There might be people around you or there might not be. The sunshine might be peeking in or maybe there are bright night lights on. Take a second to look around. 

You are safe. Even if your brain is running around trying to constantly find the solution to problems or you might feel like panicking, you need to remind yourself that you are safe. There are people a few steps away from you, who love you wholeheartedly, ready to shower you with love and warmth. There is God watching you from above, carving a path for you right now. And most importantly, you have YOU. You are worthy and you are your own best friend. You are there for you, and remind yourself that. 

Now, take a deep breath and let yourself feel through the emotions. Is it pain that you are feeling? Frustration? Anger? Disappointment? Confusion? Sadness? Or simply tiredness? Let yourself feel. 

Trust that you will find the solution. With every breath you take, you are getting closer to the solution to the problem you have. Now move around your body and slowly start to lift your mood. Gradually and slowly, rise up from the depths of the sadness because you are worthy and deserving of happiness. It might take time, so don’t rush because…

‘After every hardship comes ease’

(Surah 94:06)

The lesson for today is that you, yes, you will have problems and ups and downs in life and everyone else does too. But if you remain calm, things will get better.

I am Surobi. I am usually quite a happy person and I want to encourage you all to own your emotions like a rockstar and be happier.

With love,

Surobi

This was the perfect timing for this poem because it is the summer time! For me as a Year 11 student, my holidays nearly started 1.5 months ago and it has been a time of growth, fun and discovery! 

If you have started your summer holidays or you will be starting them very soon, I want you to firstly be proud of yourself for having come all this way. It has been a chaotic year with usual school stress coupled with a whole pandemic. 

Secondly, I want you to breathe and enjoy the present moment. Do what makes you feel good as long as you stay within your boundaries and values.

Thirdly, you can begin to make holiday plans/bucket lists! This will allow you to prepare for the summer, feel excited and get your life together. Because as I always say, you don’t want to come out of summer being a worse version of yourself.

That is all. Go and enjoy your well-deserved break. 

Oh, and before you go, it would help me so much if you could share this post if you are excited for summer and also subscribe to my weekly newsletter for more updates from me!

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Thank you so much for reading, and have a lovely day! 

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Amongst our busy lives, it can be so easy to get caught up in worldly matters. When is the next train? When is the next exam? What is the next task to tick off? What is the next something?

Stop. Breathe in. Breathe out. You may need some time to really talk to yourself and question what you are doing. After this break, you may feel even more motivated and productive to start working. 

When should you stop? It is your choice. 

Maybe when you stop, you might get more motivation.