Well, I am here to spill the tea on how to become that girl because I truly believe it is quite simple and if you really have the intention to be that girl and still end this summer on a great note, you can become that girl!

Note: the tips in this article can also be used for boys!

The Benefits of Being ‘That Girl’

The benefits of being ‘that girl’ is:

1. You live a more fulfilling life as you are embodying that high-value version of yourself that always makes you happy long term
2. You become more confident in yourself as you realise your potential and how you can do many things in one day.
3. You are considered to be more attractive as people wonder how you do it all.

The Ultimate Key To Become ‘That Girl’

The key is to have some habits and non-negotiable in your life but also allow some flexibility in your schedule.

Having Habits And Systems

Here is how it works: start with having a habit tracker, where you will write some non-negotiable habits in your life that you will do without fail. This ensures that you are prioritising yourself and you are not feeling too overwhelmed with your life with too much flow. This provides structure to your life. Examples of these habits include meditation, journaling or waking up early.

Having Flexibility

However, you also need to allow things to fit into your schedule which can change depending on the circumstances. The key is to follow your gut and make the right decision. If you have two hours free one evening, what would you do? Would you be like your lazy self just scrolling through social media? Or would you be like your high-value self and go out to a coffee shop and learn to be comfortable solo travelling?

Fill your schedule with more activities. This can include hobbies (I will be making an article about hobbies very soon), events and programmes (to meet new people and expand your knowledge) and even self-development/self-care (such as reading a book alone in a coffee shop). Always embody your high-value version of yourself.

Get Back Up

Some days, you will feel exhausted or feel negative emotions. You don’t need to be exhausted to be ‘that girl’, you can just keep following your gut. Love and accept your emotions but do not follow the negative emotions and do not do the actions that will not make you happy long term.

To be ‘that girl’, it takes consistency. Don’t sabotage yourself for things that you know are not true. If you fail to do a habit or you do end up being lazy, just forgive yourself. Learn from that mistake, get up and move on. Try your best not to make mistakes.

You Can Do It

Start today to be ‘that girl’ if you haven’t started already.

Share this article with anyone who is keen on improving themselves!

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By the mercy of God, all my doubts were dispelled. Based on all the research I did for the past two-three years, I realised three things. 

Number one is that I found my worth. Many teenagers and young people feel the need to fit in because they desire validation. Still, this validation is unhealthy because you are seeking stability from teenagers who aren’t even stable themselves. You should never be seeking validation from anyone anyways because you have to do what makes you happy long term. Once you find yourself valuable, you won’t make yourself small to fit in. Knowing that I am worthy all the time regardless of the situation and always doing what makes me happy long-term helped with picking the right friends who knew my value.

Number two is that female friendships can be quite tricky. Based on evolution, men were hunters millions of years ago, and because they went hunting as a pack, their genes are wired to work together well in groups, and many men don’t even need to have regular communication in order to remain friends. Men can also have arguments, but I believe it is usually less passive-aggressive than women. Women, on the other hand, are not accustomed to having female friends for many years, which is why girls usually gossip more and some can be toxic which causes them to spread rumours more. Women usually have more drama, and they require more regular communication to maintain their friendships. Female friendships are not as prioritised in society, and this is based on a scientific standpoint. Therefore, I understood why it was difficult for me to maintain female friendships, in a time where I wanted mature friends who would understand that I also needed my own space at times.

Lastly, I also believe that people come into your life as a messenger or a mirror. This is very significant. 

When someone comes into your life as a messenger, this means that they are trying to teach you a new lesson. Whether they stay in your life or leave, they will teach you something that will help you in the future and with your future friendships. For example, one previous toxic friend taught me to be firm in my beliefs and not be manipulated easily. They taught me that it is crucial for me to have my own opinions and not apologise for them. Today, I am so firm in my beliefs that it makes me a much more confident person.

When people come into your life as a mirror, it means that they may come to trigger you to work on past behaviours or heal more or simply learn more about who you are. For example, I have a current friend who is very academic just like me which is a positive trait. She aligned with my energy. However, she is not into going out to new places very much, and I realised that perhaps if I want to attract friends who like travelling, I need to travel more myself. This process of knowing more about yourself and your friends is so rewarding.

The more I walked away from the people who were toxic and/or who did not align with my energy, and the more I kept working on myself, the more these people were filtered out of my life. After that, I have only been moving up tiers and levelling up and making better friends. I don’t need friends as my sole source. It is okay not to have too many friends as they might not be at your level, especially in your teenage years. I have learned to solo travel and do many things alone. Friends are only a bonus in your life. 

My key is to keep working on myself and always be the person I would want as my best friend.

So, have your friends been a messenger or a mirror? Did you also have toxic friendships in the past? Comment below.

With love,

Surobi

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Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

ess self-help books or even hire therapists or coaches that will help with self-improvement. The world is your oyster when it comes to how many resources are available today. And sometimes it is just hard to choose what to pick and what to follow. 

Despite the endless resources, you may feel lost, confused or even not in control of your life. You keep feeling overwhelmed or sad. 

Here is one of the keys that can help you: change your perspective. Now, you may ask, do I have to be dishonest to myself and lie to myself that everything is fine when it’s not? No, changing your perspective means simply seeking more knowledge, following your gut and embodying the high-value version of yourself daily. You need to show up as the person who has the mindset that your most high-value version of yourself would. For example, right now, you might not be wealthy and I don’t want you going and spending money on that Gucci bag just because your high-value version of yourself would. The key is to adopt and embody the beliefs, mindset and habits of your wealthy self. Perhaps your wealthiest version of yourself would be investing money or thinking about how to buy the next real estate property. Think about the structure, steps and beliefs that you need. Don’t leave this huge gap between the person you are right now and the person you want to become. This is key to start living and being your high-value version of yourself.

To ensure you also do not rush and overwhelm yourself to leave room for flow, make sure you do everything at your own pace by following your gut. This will help to make sure you are doing everything for you and you always do what is best for you

You have the power to choose the perspectives and thoughts that are always honest with yourself. By changing your perspective by being honest to yourself always through seeking more knowledge, following your gut and embodying your high-value value version of yourself daily, you can live your best life.

Comment below one way you will implement this advice this week and let’s keep each other accountable!

 You can subscribe here to check out my blog whenever I publish: Get My Blog On Your Emails For Free

Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

P.S I would really appreciate it if you followed on me on my Medium blog and also on my TikTok account.

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Alhamdulillah, I turned 18 years old on 19th July 2023. I honestly felt cool and like a grown-up with my responsibilities, which was very exciting! I am genuinely so grateful to Allah for being able to witness these eighteen years on this planet and I also want to share some of the wisdom that I learned in these eighteen years with you all!

So, in this article, I will share 6 of the 18 life lessons that I learned in 18 years of my life. These life lessons are based on self-development, self-love and becoming the best version of yourself. I hope that you benefit from this article, and let’s get started!

This is part 3 of this part 3 series. Check out part 1 here and part 2 here!  

If you can’t solve a problem within 24 hours, then you need to speak up within 48 hours.

Many people do not know when to speak up when they have problems. Some spend too long trying to fix their problems on their own and bottle up their emotions while others try to vent every problem they have. So here is a rule of thumb that may help you: unless it is an emergency, speak up only if you can’t fix the problem within 24 hours and speak to someone within 48 hours. 

By doing this you can build up your own problem-solving skills but at the same not bottle up your emotions and suffer with your problems.

Don’t compromise on your standards.

This is one you have to remind yourself constantly. And that is to never compromise on your standards and self-respect. Whether it is for your dream house or a partner, don’t think that your standards are too high. Of course, nothing is perfect in this world so you need to have at least three non-negotiables to ensure you are not compromising on your standards and hence your self-respect along the way. By having three non-negotiables, it ensures that you remember your worth and you don’t settle for less.

For those people who tell you that you are too picky or too difficult or too unrealistic, it is because of their scarcity mindset. Honour your three non-negotiables and stick to them as Allah finds you worthy and He wants to give you the best. People less qualified than you are also getting what you want.

Learn to love the bad days

When I was younger, I used to be harsh on myself whenever I would have a bad day. I would ask myself why I have bad days and thought it was abnormal to have bad days, or that everyone else is always happy. That is not true. Everyone has bad days, whether it is your teachers or whether it is your favourite celebrity. I have two things to help with this: 1. Love and accept your emotions but don’t follow your emotions

2. If you are feeling bad at night, you are probably just tired. 9 times out of 10, you will feel better when you get up the next morning. So try to have an early night.

Have the right support system (the 3-person rule)

I had to mention this one. And that is because so many young people are listening to whatever they can find. The truth is that I understand that Allah puts us all in different circumstances. Some of you may have been brought up with loving parents, while others are not so lucky and have been brought up with abusive parents. Some of you may have had parents that were loving but simply did not have enough time, while other parents had all the time but not the resources or the knowledge. So here is the 3 person rule: have someone who cares about you (preferably older and someone related to you who is similar in values to you), someone who is your role model and always look at someone who you don’t want to be like and don’t follow the wrong advice they give you. And of course, remember that you and Allah are also part of your support system.

Always do what makes you happy long term

This is the advice that we need to scream out, especially to young people: look at how your actions will affect you long term! Always think about your high-value version of yourself and embody your high-value version of yourself always. Would he/she be doing this action? If it is what your high-value version of yourself would do and if it makes you happy long term then do it. By doing this, you are not wrecking yourself down the line and suffering later. You can be happy long term by taking the right actions for the rest of your life.

Always follow your gut.

Your gut is a very powerful tool. Trust your gut always and don’t doubt your gut. If you doubt your gut, you are more likely to take the wrong decision. Always trust your gut fully when taking a decision. If a gut says yes to something, do that thing. This is because your gut gives you the best and the right decision for you based on all the knowledge you have. So many books and even Mufti Menk has talked about trusting your gut. 

So always follow your gut!

That was the third part of six of the eighteen lessons I learnt in eighteen years of my life. I hope that this article benefitted you in any way. Please share this article with others, because what you share with the world comes back around to you!

If you want to read the other 12 lessons of this series, check it out here and here.  You can subscribe here to check out my blog whenever I publish: Get My Blog On Your Emails For Free

Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

P.S I would really appreciate it if you followed on me on my Medium blog and also on my TikTok account.

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know

Alhamdulillah, I turned 18 years old on 19th July 2023. I honestly felt cool and like a grown-up with my responsibilities, which was very exciting! I am genuinely so grateful to Allah for being able to witness these eighteen years on this planet and I also want to share some of the wisdom that I learned in these eighteen years with you all!

So, in this article, I will share 6 of the 18 life lessons that I learned in 18 years of my life. These life lessons are based on self-development, self-love and becoming the best version of yourself. I hope that you benefit from this article, and let’s get started!

This is part 2 of this part 3 series. Check out part 1 here.

Failure is inevitable. Then, try not to make mistakes.

Failure is going to happen. It is guaranteed. I remember hearing this piece of advice from a motivational video and it really resonated with me. Because I personally hate and detest failure. I hate the fact that I have to feel a mixture of feeling sorry for myself, feeling overwhelmed and also disappointed in myself. But the truth is that you can never avoid failure forever. And if you do, that means you are not trying anything new.

Now, I also do not want to romanticise making mistakes. Many people also are now falling into the trap of damaging themselves now but then trying to cure it later.

The key is to always follow your gut and always do what makes you happy long term. If you end up failing, being rejected or making a mistake, let yourself feel and process all the emotions. However, don’t follow these emotions and don’t let these emotions dictate your actions. You have to learn from your mistakes and then get back up. Then, try not to make mistakes.

Only do everything for you and Allah.

I have two references for this specific lesson. The first book is ‘The Courage To Be Disliked’, where the author discusses how many people tend to see the relationships in their life as ‘vertical’ and there is a hierarchical system. Many people want to impress the people above them, and unfortunately mistreat the people below them. However, you should instead perceive your relationships to be as ‘horizontal’ which means that you treat everyone equally. That way, you don’t feel the need to impress anyone and you can do everything for you. Regardless of who is with you, you are always embodied in your boundaries and values.

The second reference is from the book ‘Loving Yourself To Great Health’. The book states that the key to every problem in this world is to love yourself more. Many people suffer from a deficiency of self-love and hence, they try to fill that emptiness within themselves by seeking approval from others. However, this is a low-value trait, filled with highs and lows. 

If you want to live a peaceful life where you can regulate your emotions and you are doing what is best for you, always do everything for you and Allah. The best three ways to do this are: always follow your gut, always do what makes you happy long term and learn more about yourself and Allah.

Diversify your identity.

It is shocking how many people live in the digital age of social media and the Internet, yet they are still struggling to do what they love. I believe that every young person should have a hobby outside of school. Not only does this mean that you will have a break from school, but it also means that you are not solely relying on school for an income in the future or to form your whole identity. Your hobbies can be monetizable or even a simple addition to your identity that can turn you into a polymath.

You are worthy all the time regardless of the situation.

You are worthy. Full stop. There is no question. There are two main ways to always remind yourself of your worth. The first reason is that Allah decided to create you as a human with free will.

However, Allah finds you and me worthy which is why we are still living humans on this Earth. The fact that we are surviving means that He is not done with us. 

The second reason is that there are people less qualified than you who have this mindset that ‘I am worthy’ and who believe in themselves, that are achieving your goals. They are living their dreams simply because they are so firm in their high self-worth. You can cultivate this mindset of high self-worth too. We are all humans and therefore, we are all worthy.

There are two components to success.

Many people believe that success comes from only one thing, and that is hard work. This could not be further from the truth. True success comes from not one, but two things: hard work and luck/unfair advantages. Both luck and unfair advantages come from Allah. In other words, for whatever you desire in this world, whether it is good grades or your dream car, you have to work hard but also pray to God because He knows what is best for you.

The best way to remind yourself is this: there are many who have gotten all A*s, the best grades and exceeded all the entry requirements for their dream university, and yet could not get in. On the other hand, another candidate may have scraped the entry requirements but somehow still get into the university. That’s why you should never give up on your dreams and keep praying to Allah.

No one is coming to save you.

I said it. It is the harsh truth you need to know. You need to stop living in the victim mindset that someone is coming to save you. And if you do feel that you need someone to change you, you may need to heal. I know that it is easier when someone helps us, but you are the one who has to work on yourself.

Once you have tried fixing the problem but it hasn’t been solved, ask someone else and always seek help from Allah.

That was the second part of six of the eighteen lessons I learnt in eighteen years of my life. I hope that this article benefitted you in any way. Please share this article with others, because what you share with the world comes back around to you!

If you want to read the first six lessons of this series, check it out here. You can subscribe here to check out my blog whenever I publish: Get My Blog On Your Emails For Free and for part 3!

Thank you for reading, and have a lovely day!

My Latest Posts:

• My 2023 Reflections As A Medical Student 
• My First Term of Medical School | Exams, Essays and Events 
• My First Month of Medical School | Moving Out, Freshers And Workload
• The Ultimate Guide To Ace Year 12 | Revision, Friendships And Supercurriculars
• How I Got All A*s At GCSEs | 10 Tips Every Year 11 Student Should Know